C for Consent

Consent (noun) -Permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.

Just because we are in a relationship. 
Or in love.
Or have had sex before.
Or made out earlier in the evening. 
Or flirted all day.
Or sexted all night.
Or discussed fantasies. 
Or like it rough. 
Or wanted to do it. 
Or thought about it yesterday. 
Or talked about it. 
Or didn’t say no.
Doesn’t mean that I,
Owe my body to you for life.

Doesn’t mean that I 
Want you to touch,
Or kiss,
Or hold,
Or grab,
Or bite,
Or spank,
Or sleep with me,
At that very moment.

I don’t owe my body and pleasure to you.
When the moment arrives, 
Before trying to read between the lines,
Just ask for his or her consent. Freely.

Before picking the right/wrong signals,
Just ask for his or her consent. Freely.
Before figuring out whether it’s moans or muffles that you hear,
Just ask for his or her consent. Freely.

Before convincing them to change how they feel at that moment,
Just ask for his or her consent. Freely.
Before asking them for their consent. 
Just give your consent first. Freely.

Consent is not about saying yes or no. 
It’s about the freedom of choice. 
It’s about choosing what you want for yourself, 
At that exact moment.

Consent is not about feeling guilty or convinced.
It’s about the freedom to exercise your will.
It’s about setting your boundaries, 
And letting someone in only when you want it.

Consent is not what you decide for your partner.
It’s about the decision you take for yourself.
It’s about what you want to do, 
Or don’t want to.

So when the moment arrives,
Before justifying your action with 
“They were asking for it”,
Just ask them for their consent.

Just because you chose each other, 
Doesn’t mean that you own each other. 
That is consent. 
Period.

 © Apoorva Bora

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